Cultivating Self

Cultivating self

Have you reached certain poignant moments in your life when you take stock of all that you are being, doing and accomplishing and realize that you are deeply unfulfilled?

Many of us arrive in this barren desert of juiceless emotions and unexcitable days rolling one after the other.  Many of my clients show up directly in my office for this very reason alone.  Some ask…”is there something wrong with my heart…. I can’t feel things like I used to”.  Some are concerned about the viability of their most intimate relationships and question if they may be over.

It is nothing short of imperative to reveal these moments of emptiness for what they really are.  A calling to reconnect with your most intimate inner longing…. To connect with yourself.

In my practice I refer to these moments as cultivating my solar plexus.

Recently I was privileged to be able to celebrate my birthday in grand fashion.  I was flown “home” to Los Angeles where I had grown up and where the bulk of my formative memories originated from.  In this magnificent city I could experience the visceral pull of the great Pacific Blue on my identity cord.  My old neighborhood and familiar hotpots were all present and reminding me of days gone by.  Family and friends fed this reawakening through nostalgic drives, social get-togethers and reflections of youthful escapades.

 I was simply marinating in a huge aspect of myself lying dormant for so many years now.  Ahhhh, YOU!  I remember YOU!  You are me and I am so much more than I am living fully in my present moment.  May I cultivate more of “YOU” back into my self- image in the now?

When we open up to these ripe opportunities of reflective delight, we are primed to remember what we may still desire to express about ourselves…. What deep unfilled longings have been left unanswered?

Make a list!  Make it fun and rediscover yourself.  Do this as often as you feel prompted to wake up to yourself anew.  Discover the richness within you and then set it free.   Watch how other aspects of your life take on new texture and dimension.

Reconnecting to self is to cultivate oneself.  To do so is to know oneself most deeply and live from there.

What within you is waiting to be heard and break free?

You are what you see,…. and you see what you are.

For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Proverbs 23:7.

While walking and talking with someone who is very dear to me this past weekend, I came to recognize how differently we viewed the world in our personal default mode.
We were headed in to see a movie and while pulling into an open parking place we realized that the space had an unlocked bicycle placed on its side, preventing a car from occupying the space. My friend immediately launched into speculations about the intelligence of the owner, why they would leave their bicycle in a vehicle parking place clearly unlocked and an easy target?

 That observation led into banter about the general lack of consideration that the bike owner had for others, which opened up and clearly revealed how selfish society has become as a whole, ending with speculations about what demise society might meet with such depravity being the rule of behavior.



While I am not blind, deaf and dumb, consider myself socially savvy and up on political and world events, I was still nonetheless sucker punched by the dire perspective of my friend.


After all, I had read at least a half-dozen inspiring status updates from a handful of my Facebook friends and colleagues that morning about positive attitudes and creating gratitude and joy in one’s life.  I had also been invited via social media to participate in charitable events serving those in need in our community.  There had been Ted talks and YouTube links on my “wall” about compassion and the advancing  awareness of human connection and the effect of that awareness on the world around us.  The very nature of my practice is service to others through the balancing of one’s energy for the most healthy and harmonious of existence.

Wasn’t the world around us getting better and more enlightened?  Weren’t we waking up, one being at a time and united in a desire to live more purposefully, passionately and vital?

Perspective.  It was and IS all about perspective my friend.

What we believe is truly what we will “see” in the world and the reverse is also true…. what we “see” will continue to reinforce what we chose to believe.  It is the essence of what we become!

My friend and I were viewing the same world with entirely difference lenses.  When I mentioned some of my observations of societal change,.. the video clips, the web-based initiatives and movements, the quotes and inspiring blogs, my friend flatly stated that he hadn’t “seen” any of that! 

We cannot view the world from a different perspective without changing the lens through which we see it.

How do we change that lens?  EASY!!!!

ALL thought from the moment we wake up to the world to the moment we lay our weary heads down to rest must be sifted through a filter called “GRATITUDE”. 

  1. Start your day with a rolling list of what you love about yourself.

  2. Lift yourself out of bed with acknowledgement about what precious souls you have to share your home, work, and life with.

  3. Take it from there with what abundance of food, transportation, access to necessities, medical care, and entertainment you have.  Those significant “niceties” are not readily available to over 70% of the human population!

  4. What else?  C’mon, think about it and when you find yourself gawking at how many things are a plenty in your world, you just may find that the world is looking just a little bit sweeter, kinder and more plentiful. 

Damn!  Isn’t it great to be human and alive?!!!