Road trips and “In-laws” and traffic,… oh my!

The joys of life can only be fully savored when there is a degree of “balance” in our lives. 

How do you choose to manage the duties, responsibilities, relationships and professional commitments that are yours to grow and maintain?

My “first” life’s focus was nearly exclusively on family.  I was raised to be my mother.  She personified the consummate homemaker, mother, charitable volunteer, wife, neighbor, church goer and coordinator extraordinaire!  It was clear to me and each of my 4 other sisters that she was the goal, or at least the role she played and how she played it.

I tried that dance, for the most part rather successfully, always placing my husband and children first in every equation, avidly studying in my holistic profession and applying its benefits directly and almost exclusively to my family first.  My years of education, travelling abroad in pursuit of knowledge and growing my career came to a standstill.  I had my priorities and I was expected to fulfill them.  I even found that I wanted to.

But as all life’s roads diverge and challenge us with new opportunities, I too found myself in new territory as a single mother and provider of my 4 children and was genuinely lambasted by the demands each of my new vocations required of me.  Where were the hours to be a full-time mother?  I still have children requiring homeschooling, which I provided up until that point, how to address my children’s’ educational needs?  Who will make the meals, read the endless school papers and put the children to bed?  How on earth are all these other single, professional mothers doing this?  Who, for heaven’s sake has time to volunteer in the school or show up for the dreaded parent-teacher conferences?

I was completely displaced.  I had many, many anxious questions and eventually I realized that I simply wasn’t going to be stellar in every single one of my endeavors!  Really?  OH YES!

So what was most important to me, personally?  What were my emerging values and where was my precious time going to be the most meaningful?

I decided immediately that my previous values and heartfelt devotion to family was still primary and unshakable.  My children would only BE children for a short time and those years could never be recalled and lived fully once gone.

At that time and today, I find my balance in the day-to-day while holding my anchored notion that they, my children and now, my new husband, came first.  Now that doesn’t mean that I drop a client to take the family for ice cream.  What that means is I haven’t shifted the drive to grow and serve through my practice at the expense of my dearest ones.

So, this summer we took several, scattered weeks off to attend my family reunion in Colorado and my husbands reunion in upstate New York.  We had an impromptu weekend with dear friends in Myrtle Beach. We turned these trips into memory building extravaganzas!  We filled each juicy moment with adventures and thrills, to include ziplining through the majestic Rocky Mountains, packing ourselves en mass into an overfull Rockies baseball game and enduring the waves of rainstorms unshaken, singing and cursing through the gridlock and traffic of the New Jersey turnpike, insatiably playing rounds of canasta with the in-laws, storming through New York City with the aunts and uncles conquering one city block at a time, and being lulled into slumber under a full moon over the water, on a blow up mattress off the balcony of our friends overfull condo!  

Did I lose business?  Did my income diminish somewhat?  Was I as rested as I could have been if I had chosen to stay home and serve more clients, teach more workshops or write more blogs?  Perhaps.  Was it totally and completely worth it?  YOU BET!

You see, the Universe is unending abundance,… the ultimate giver.  There was more clients to be met, more business to be made and many more dollars to show up in my life.

The point is, I am finding my balance.  I am living fully, loving completely and holding time in precious now that it is.  And enjoying it too!

Have you found yours?  Carpe Diem!!!

Advertisements

Who lives here?

When you catch yourself complaining internally, chastising yourself for complaining and then scolding the whole brood for their unruly comments….. do you ever wonder,….. how many “me’s” are living in here?

There is plenty of humor to keep us all amused, and truly the “voices” in our heads are not all singing a harmonious hymnal any more than they would appear to agree with each other.  Be honest, is there a civil war going on in your head?  “Do I get up now and exercise”?  “Sleep another 2o minutes”!  “I should catch up on my paperwork and emails”.  “Did I call my mother back yesterday”.  “Geez, what I would give to be taking time off from work right now”.  “Perhaps tomorrow I will start that cleanse and drop the extra 12 pounds I gained the end of last year”. 

Now I am not gonna call you schizophrenic, or claim that there may be some multiple personality disorder you are secretly dealing with, but I will ask you to consider, which voice is getting its way? 

Here is a pretty significant insight:  You can’t manifest what you want when you don’t even know what that is.  When you don’t know what you want, what you desire, what you deserve, chaos reigns.  Thoughts can run rampant in this stew of undigested ideas, “shoulds” and random meanderings.  Another tremendous insight for you:  You can’t get clear on what you want until you know what you deserve.  How true is that?! 

Self talk, when intentionally directed is a miracle shifter, pure and simple!  Try it!  Allow yourself to wake up in your body and immediately choose to go into gratitude.  Be grateful for the comforter that kept you warm, your significant other laying next to you, alive and well, the quality of the shades that kept the light out so successfully, and yes, speak words of gratitude to your body!  Feel the words sink in, and notice how your body, mind and moods follow your lead.  By the time you hit the bathroom mirror, you might even be convinced that you look better, younger, healthier somehow!  Perhaps a bit of magic took place overnight, the sleep was more restful or those vitamins are finally beginning to yield some results. 

We have been told for years that a “placebo effect” demonstrates the subjects belief  that the experimental catalyst is real and therefore effective.  New science is regularly demonstrating how much our beliefs manifest in our reality through our health, financial affairs, relationships, everything.  Would it be such a strain to start talking sweet to yourself as you rise to greet a new day? 

How does your mood change when you choose to smile and redirect your focus to what is working in your life?  Maybe you feel more energetic or your jonesing for comfort food just isn’t pressing right now.  Perhaps you find yourself being the brightest smile at the Wal-Mart, cheering up strangers with unfettered zeal!

Shifting your self-talk is shifting your consciousness.  One small, deliberate, intentional, approving thought sent to your entire being is the start.  How will you choose to start your tomorrow?

 

 

Greet the day!