How Many Tips Did You Say???

sacred-mirrors-alex-grey reflections
I get a serious kick out of reading the headlines of my email service’s news reel…..”3 tips to get your belly flat now!” or “5 ways to make him love you forever!”…… yada, yada, yada.

Yes, there is amazing bullet pointed advice out there, but to pigeon hole a number and cram the entire population into that quantifier is ludicrous!

I admit it,…. I am a professional coach. I also happen to be a PhD and an energy intuitive and if there is one humbling fact that I have come to realize in my short life on this planet it is this……. Each of us is so intrinsically unique, so magnificently faceted in that uniqueness there is never one way to address anything truly pertinent.

And since when is everyone who has had personal experience an “EXPERT”??? People are coming out of the woodworks, doling out advice with the title of expert because they visited the school of hardknocks a time or two. Well… who hasn’t?

Before you pay 49.95 for “3 Weird tips to…… ” or purchase an online tutorial for the amazing deal of $399.95 to permanently change……”, why not realize that any investment is best learned when it is profoundly experienced.

You want a heartbeat and an acutely listening ear when it comes to building a support system for clarity and change?

By all means, if you are genuinely drawn to a fabulous article or bewitched by a clever titled book…. read on! But be really super honest with yourself….. are you intuitively drawn to it or not?

You see, your answers are exactly that…. “your answers”. We are meant to live a life wide awake to ourselves, excavating and discovering our own riches! There is NO ONE else like you alive or dead! You are a fresh new perspective on humankind, with your own delicious adventure to tell.

So, good advice… you bet, it’s out there but when it comes to knowing ourselves and the uniqueness of our personal dynamics, relationship quirks, physiological anomalies and what have you….. take the time to inquire and get the support of an intuitive coach that listens to you. One that reveals how much you already know and have access to yourself, but just needed a skillful mirror to reflect it back and hold you to what you know and want!

Your answers can’t be quantified, repackaged and sold en masse…… great marketing, but no bueno.

Anything that is going to last is going to be as customized and specific as you are!

YOU want to know how many steps it will take before you have…….. let’s ask the right questions first and let your intuition reveal it’s brilliance to you!…. with the help of “your” coach.

Let me know how I can help!

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Who is running your “belief” system?

We have all heard the news….. it’s not just a niche concept anymore!  The news can be heard from the airwaves of television talk shows, late night radio, news and magazines, and the latest and hottest self-help books.  The news has gone mainstream and is becoming widely accepted to be a new way of relating to the world around us.  What is this “News”?

Our thoughts create based upon our belief system.  We are constantly creating and magnetically attracting experiences, opportunities and people who mirror our inner beliefs.  Yikes, some might say!  And there is a genuine reason why many may want to dismiss this news altogether…… it’s not good news to know that we have SO much responsibility over a reality that we aren’t satisfied with.

Solution?  Absolutely!

First,…. get in touch with what beliefs are surfacing and running much of your life.  Are they even your beliefs, values and thoughts?  Are they your mothers, or dominant great aunts?   Are they outdated versions of yourself?  Are you still reflecting on your post college ideals of your potential success 15 years into your career?  Check these out!  Question them and put them to the test to determine if they are even a part of your ever-developing sense of self.  If not, let them go and let them go BIGTIME!

Second,…. take a moment to do some real inventory of what latent fears lurk deep within you.  What concerns are lying just under the surface?  Are you secretly running a program in the backroom of your mind that your partner is too good to be true and just waiting patiently for a sign of betrayal or rejection?  Perhaps you carry concern that the next promotion shouldnt really be yours regardless of your seniority and effort because it would rock the boat with your friendliest of colleagues… let someone else shine and remain peacefully well-liked? 

Fears are often revitalizing and provoking those outdated and foreign beliefs that don’t serve you.  They are the beliefs that may never have been truly yours, simply adopted from an influential family member or respected mentor that is now keeping your growth on many levels at bay.  As a matter of fact, regardless of the work that you pursue to make conscious change these are the very thoughts that may sabotage you from real break throughs again and again!

Sit down and take a genuine and unabashed inventory…… what have you got running the show in there?  What is running amok?  How does it feel to get a glimpse of the fears lurking in the darkness of your inner consciousness?  Uncomfortable?  Off-putting?  Don’t ignore them…. make friendly with those fears!  Gently encourage them out of the darkness and into a more enlightened view and gently examine them from many angles.  What’s there now?  Have they lost some of their solidity?  Do they seem less reasonable or less likely? 

Look again.

And after the excavation and dissection….. SHAKE THINGS UP A BIT!!!  I mean, why not?   Have a ball…. throw a party and celebrate that you know what you have been fearing and it is no way as frightening as you had allowed yourself to feel!  Claim your renewed freedom and gently and lovingly retrain yourself to allow that fear to exist without feeding its silent, sucking momentum.  You know the truth and the truth is, it really will ALL be OK.

Whenever a new belief fed by a latent fear rises to your attention from your new openness,… welcome it compassionately.  Shake it’s hand in a warm greeting and be a good, yet temporary host.  Get to know it for a while and then see it clearly from all sides.  Watch it shrink in its stature through its revealing of itself, just like a formidable foe that has come into need of you and somehow becomes less threatening in its weakness.  Beliefs and fears are exactly the same.  They need YOU to be fed.  They require your focus on them to even be real.  Gently strip back their power through your familiarity with them. 

Celebrate the moment you are in right now….. and take time every day to see and feel how many aspects of your life are just RIGHT!

The Art of Investing in Oneself

What does it really mean to “invest” in oneself?  At what level do we take time to cultivate who we are and decide that it’s time to broaden or embellish how we interact in the world?  What is necessary to examine about ourselves?  What pieces may be missing that could be acquired?

Personally I am always driven to learn more, as I have it in my nature to be the perpetual student.  While I deeply believe that at our essence each of us is intuitively in touch with the “all that is” and thereby inherently know everything there is to know, remembering all that sometimes poses a problem….. yes?

While the concept of Universal Consciousness suggests that all energy and thereby all knowledge is accessible to each of us, how exactly do we go about grasping the tidbits we are interested in?  What secret corridor of our minds must we access to tap into the wisdom of the ages?

Let’s be honest… It’s the most rewarding when we are hit with an enormous “Aha!” moment.  Transcendent and exhilarating epiphany can catapult our understanding into untold realms, if we only allow ourselves to reach for them.  How do we get into that flow?

For me, the answer is simple…… by humbly remaining the receptive “STUDENT“.  When there is a desire to learn, we are teachable.  If we have it in our tightly wound little heads that we have figured everything out that pertains to us, we live very, very small.  By realizing that every experience that we have and every soul we encounter in our day-to-day is a potential opportunity for learning, growing, and knowing we stay teachable.

I have always had an insatiable appetite for reading, taking classes, listening with earnest ear to the wise insights of my elders.  I think that because of this burning desire I have had the most exquisite ability to align myself with the golden stream of what I call “Divine Data Download”.  Basically what I am describing is an openness to the Universe catching my receptivity and giving me more than what the opportunity would otherwise teach me through my 5 senses.   The infusement of etheric information is made available because I am receptive and permeable to it!

Have you had these epiphanies?  Have you experienced a crystal clarity of knowing something internally, simply by being open?

So how do we solicit these chance occasions and create more of them in our lives?  By receptively embracing the role of the student, of course!

My most recent experience in direct study was completing my examinations and thesis for my Masters in Metaphysics two years back.  I have decided that short of excuses that could be innumerable, I intend to continue my studies for life and have begun my preparation for completing my dissertation towards my doctorate.  Why not?  In this day and age the opportunities to continue our adult education are limitless. 

If you are drawn to learn, then LEARN!  If you are called to serve through acquiring skills and modalities through credentials, certifications, degrees and other modes of learning… give your self that gift of growth!

When we keep ourselves keenly aligned with the stream of receiving greater understanding, we give ourselves an unfathomable gift!  Investing in ourselves.    How do you perceive this investment?  How can you make it joyful, artful and celebratory? 

YOU DESERVE IT!  

Road trips and “In-laws” and traffic,… oh my!

The joys of life can only be fully savored when there is a degree of “balance” in our lives. 

How do you choose to manage the duties, responsibilities, relationships and professional commitments that are yours to grow and maintain?

My “first” life’s focus was nearly exclusively on family.  I was raised to be my mother.  She personified the consummate homemaker, mother, charitable volunteer, wife, neighbor, church goer and coordinator extraordinaire!  It was clear to me and each of my 4 other sisters that she was the goal, or at least the role she played and how she played it.

I tried that dance, for the most part rather successfully, always placing my husband and children first in every equation, avidly studying in my holistic profession and applying its benefits directly and almost exclusively to my family first.  My years of education, travelling abroad in pursuit of knowledge and growing my career came to a standstill.  I had my priorities and I was expected to fulfill them.  I even found that I wanted to.

But as all life’s roads diverge and challenge us with new opportunities, I too found myself in new territory as a single mother and provider of my 4 children and was genuinely lambasted by the demands each of my new vocations required of me.  Where were the hours to be a full-time mother?  I still have children requiring homeschooling, which I provided up until that point, how to address my children’s’ educational needs?  Who will make the meals, read the endless school papers and put the children to bed?  How on earth are all these other single, professional mothers doing this?  Who, for heaven’s sake has time to volunteer in the school or show up for the dreaded parent-teacher conferences?

I was completely displaced.  I had many, many anxious questions and eventually I realized that I simply wasn’t going to be stellar in every single one of my endeavors!  Really?  OH YES!

So what was most important to me, personally?  What were my emerging values and where was my precious time going to be the most meaningful?

I decided immediately that my previous values and heartfelt devotion to family was still primary and unshakable.  My children would only BE children for a short time and those years could never be recalled and lived fully once gone.

At that time and today, I find my balance in the day-to-day while holding my anchored notion that they, my children and now, my new husband, came first.  Now that doesn’t mean that I drop a client to take the family for ice cream.  What that means is I haven’t shifted the drive to grow and serve through my practice at the expense of my dearest ones.

So, this summer we took several, scattered weeks off to attend my family reunion in Colorado and my husbands reunion in upstate New York.  We had an impromptu weekend with dear friends in Myrtle Beach. We turned these trips into memory building extravaganzas!  We filled each juicy moment with adventures and thrills, to include ziplining through the majestic Rocky Mountains, packing ourselves en mass into an overfull Rockies baseball game and enduring the waves of rainstorms unshaken, singing and cursing through the gridlock and traffic of the New Jersey turnpike, insatiably playing rounds of canasta with the in-laws, storming through New York City with the aunts and uncles conquering one city block at a time, and being lulled into slumber under a full moon over the water, on a blow up mattress off the balcony of our friends overfull condo!  

Did I lose business?  Did my income diminish somewhat?  Was I as rested as I could have been if I had chosen to stay home and serve more clients, teach more workshops or write more blogs?  Perhaps.  Was it totally and completely worth it?  YOU BET!

You see, the Universe is unending abundance,… the ultimate giver.  There was more clients to be met, more business to be made and many more dollars to show up in my life.

The point is, I am finding my balance.  I am living fully, loving completely and holding time in precious now that it is.  And enjoying it too!

Have you found yours?  Carpe Diem!!!

Staying True to Course…..

Upward and onward!  Being in a state of flow is not entirely an automatic experience for many of us and getting ourselves into the right state of mind, feeling and being may require taking deliberate action.

But first…. where is your internal energy level?  Do you have the reserves to fuel your intentions?  Do you know how to re-fuel your being sufficiently?  Have you fed yourself well, provided your body the kindness of a nap?

I was misled early in the rebirth of my career, into believing that multi-tasking was a fantastic skill to master and the more tasks I had spinning around me the more I would be accomplishing.  We have all heard the term, “kill two birds with one stone”.  It’s been part of our cultural heritage to believe that stillness is often idle and multi-tasking is productive busy-ness.

So when energy wanes and intuition runs scarce between intervals of activity along life’s path… what is being called for? 

“Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain un-moving
till the right action arises by itself?” ~ Lao Tzu

Often we forget that when a void of activity and vision arises, it is indeed time to refill our wells.  It is time to nap,.. to dream.  What is being called for is a “divine data download” meant to revitalize our efforts and bring new meaning to our happenings. 

Running full force will burn us out.  Being “ON” in a fixed and permanent way is the fastest path to fizzling out.  Or should I say turning “OFF”?  Quiet time is necessary and today as I take quiet reflective time I recognize that this is the way of all of life.  It is the way of the earth and the seasons.

Remember to take restful and replenishing seasons and respect yourself enough to embrace them when they arise.  Life will unfold. 

Why not show up well rested, refreshed and at your very best?

Be Deliberate! Choose the life you truly want.

Knowing what we want is over half the trick!

Well that shouldn’t be hard to do, right?  I mean, how much difficulty is there in determining what kind of life we want for ourselves, really?

In my practice one of the biggest obstacles to my clients being able to move forward in any area of their lives whether it be professional, interpersonal, artistically, creatively, health maintenance,…. you name it….. is getting in touch with what they genuinely want for themselves.  Why is this so important?

In a recent article published internationally regarding the “5 Top Regrets” that most hospice patients echo unanimously, a very poignant truth emerges.  What do you think the number one common regret was?

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. 
It is very important to try to honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it. 

Missed dreams…, lost opportunities and the like can haunt us when the chances for fulfilling them are no longer possible.  Often, family, societal and other outside pressures can build within us such a strong resistance to listen to and respond to our inner longing that we learn to successfully turn them off. 

This is what I refer to as “silencing and blocking” the Solar Plexus, a very significant energy center in our internal Chakra System.  The Solar Plexus is located between the naval and the sternum and is related to the corresponding organs and body systems in that region.  A tight or blocked Solar Plexus can play into a host of corresponding physiological imbalances.  But for the sake of this writing, let’s just focus on what a “silenced” Solar Plexus or inner voice can do to our sense of self and personal satisfaction.

If you find yourself struggling to get clear on what you want, perhaps having reached a significant transition point in your career, relationships, life plans and feel bereft of genuinely passionate ideas for your future…. you may have been one of the many who forgot to listen to your “still small voice” within and forgot where to find it.

Breathe….. deeply breathe into this vast space in your core and gently allow your mind to wander.  Allow yourself to remember who you were, what you once loved, what activities exhilarated you, what ideas tickle you now and allow  yourself to listen without judgement or restraint.  What is there?  How long has it patiently sat, dormantly awaiting its resurrection and it’s moment of being allowed to shine in the warmth of your attention?

Make a list…. and make it FUN!!!  Let the list roll out loose and unabashed…. no judgement!  Who knew you were so darned adventurous?  And without fear of longing for something you feel is unattainable, without the fear of failing, just let it be!  Why?

“Inspiration and gratitude heal and empower. If you’re not doing what you love, you’ll feel ungrateful and desperate. The greatest cause of illness, disease and death is not living your dreams. Also, you are wise to love failure as much as success, since you fail and succeed equally and constantly. If you have a fantasy of only succeeding, you’ll beat yourself up for being a failure”. – Dr. John Demartini

So it’s really about us living the fullest life available to us and being our best selves!  Everyone wins in this exchange.  This is the FIRST step to choosing the life you truly, genuinely want, love and deserve!

Are you breathing yet?  Are you gently holding your core and compassionately asking it to reveal itself to you…. begging its forgiveness for how long you have starved it of your attention?  Are you breathing…. are you listening?  GOOD!

So Where to Begin?

“Starting Anew……”

So where does one begin?  How do we re-write our way of thinking, believing, living, and essentially being?

It must begin as the new day rises within us.  Before we even open our eyes to become acutely aware of our surroundings, the position of our bodies, the space we are sharing with a companion,… we must take an internal accounting.

What are you grateful for,….. truly?  Wait.  Keep your eyes closed.  Stay alert.  Tell your kidneys to practice patience.  Be grateful for your kidneys… if they are complaining of need to empty, that would indicate that they are working!  Thank your kidneys!   What else?  How does the mattress feel underneath your slowly awakening backside?  Comfy?  Supportive?  Be grateful for the warmth, support and comfort of your bed!  Feeeeel it and mean it.  What luxury to awaken fully relaxed, warm and serenely peaceful.  Ahhhhh…. I can feel the warmth of the incoming rays sweetly slipping through the blinds.  The day is filled with incoming sunshine and the promise of blue skies and warmth!  I am grateful that the sunshine has pierced the clouds and is bathing the earth with light and golden magic!

Did you feel the shift?  Isn’t an amazingly transformative thing to step into the waking recognition of what is already generously abundant in your life,… this moment!?  Right now, I have a reason to feel luxuriant, healthy, nurtured,…. perhaps strong and beautiful!  

By the time you hit the bathroom mirror you simply feel more radiant, strong, capable, supported…. you name it!  Let the praise continue!  Beat your chest and stir your body to vibrate and quicken its pulse and with every breath communicate your gratitude for each infinitesimal aspect of your being.

No one can do this part for you.  ONLY you can establish your perception of yourself and all that you claim in your life.  And only you can engage yourself the moment you wake and determine, mindfully, the life you choose to live.

Choose gratitude!  Choose yourself!