Fall brings with it a slowing pace to our inner senses and beg us to ponder where our energy and intention have been for the past 10 months of waxing into the activity of fun sun and visceral living.
The season for giving “thanks” is upon us and with that, for many, it will be a return to a concept of home and traditional conformity.
If you are one of many who will be coming “home” to loved ones; family that perhaps you do not continually develop your sense of self with on a daily basis and supporting all that you are releasing and becoming, this may be a genuinely challenging experience.
We often find ourselves knee jerking into old patterns of familiar behavior when placed back into old surroundings. For those that we left behind while out discovering ourselves, there are still outdated versions of you playing in their consciousness. After all, they were unable to personally witness the richness of your development taking place, and need you to lovingly re-introduce yourself to them.
Returning can be gentle and well received when we bring all of ourselves home with us,…. fully present AND fully accepting of the ever-evolving presences of those we love.
How do we accomplish this?
First, set a conscious intention of who you see yourself to be in the here and now, in the comfort of your personal space prior to making the journey. Hold that vision, and anchor it deep within your sense of self. Self-talk is magnificent in grounding this concept.
Second, remember to expect that as much as you want to be embraced for all that you are becoming, so too, do your loved ones. Look for the subtle growth, personal shifts and less obvious milestones that you can revel in with them. Point them out and witness the gratitude that emerges from your attention.
Lastly, find opportunities to bond with and create new memories with those precious souls you are intentionally choosing to spend this cherished time of year with. Rather than defaulting to the re-enactment of the “good ole days”, perhaps finding opportunities to make new connections,…… sharing new ideas,…. new memories.
Being conscious and deliberately choosing how you would best enjoy this time of interaction makes all the difference. Rather than defaulting to the “way it has always been”, set the standard of a new default. Set the intention to bring all of you home. And then be presently surprised in the discovery of how much more is awaiting to make your acquaintance!
Many of us arrive in this barren desert of juiceless emotions and unexcitable days rolling one after the other. Many of my clients show up directly in my office for this very reason alone. Some ask…”is there something wrong with my heart…. I can’t feel things like I used to”. Some are concerned about the viability of their most intimate relationships and question if they may be over.
It is nothing short of imperative to reveal these moments of emptiness for what they really are. A calling to reconnect with your most intimate inner longing…. To connect with yourself.
In my practice I refer to these moments as cultivating my solar plexus.
Recently I was privileged to be able to celebrate my birthday in grand fashion. I was flown “home” to Los Angeles where I had grown up and where the bulk of my formative memories originated from. In this magnificent city I could experience the visceral pull of the great Pacific Blue on my identity cord. My old neighborhood and familiar hotpots were all present and reminding me of days gone by. Family and friends fed this reawakening through nostalgic drives, social get-togethers and reflections of youthful escapades.
I was simply marinating in a huge aspect of myself lying dormant for so many years now. Ahhhh, YOU! I remember YOU! You are me and I am so much more than I am living fully in my present moment. May I cultivate more of “YOU” back into my self- image in the now?
When we open up to these ripe opportunities of reflective delight, we are primed to remember what we may still desire to express about ourselves…. What deep unfilled longings have been left unanswered?
Make a list! Make it fun and rediscover yourself. Do this as often as you feel prompted to wake up to yourself anew. Discover the richness within you and then set it free. Watch how other aspects of your life take on new texture and dimension.
What within you is waiting to be heard and break free?
Upward and onward! Being in a state of flow is not entirely an automatic experience for many of us and getting ourselves into the right state of mind, feeling and being may require taking deliberate action.
But first…. where is your internal energy level? Do you have the reserves to fuel your intentions? Do you know how to re-fuel your being sufficiently? Have you fed yourself well, provided your body the kindness of a nap?
I was misled early in the rebirth of my career, into believing that multi-tasking was a fantastic skill to master and the more tasks I had spinning around me the more I would be accomplishing. We have all heard the term, “kill two birds with one stone”. It’s been part of our cultural heritage to believe that stillness is often idle and multi-tasking is productive busy-ness.
“Do you have the patience to wait
till your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain un-moving
till the right action arises by itself?” ~ Lao Tzu
Often we forget that when a void of activity and vision arises, it is indeed time to refill our wells. It is time to nap,.. to dream. What is being called for is a “divine data download” meant to revitalize our efforts and bring new meaning to our happenings.
Running full force will burn us out. Being “ON” in a fixed and permanent way is the fastest path to fizzling out. Or should I say turning “OFF”? Quiet time is necessary and today as I take quiet reflective time I recognize that this is the way of all of life. It is the way of the earth and the seasons.
Remember to take restful and replenishing seasons and respect yourself enough to embrace them when they arise. Life will unfold.
Why not show up well rested, refreshed and at your very best?
When you catch yourself complaining internally, chastising yourself for complaining and then scolding the whole brood for their unruly comments….. do you ever wonder,….. how many “me’s” are living in here?
There is plenty of humor to keep us all amused, and truly the “voices” in our heads are not all singing a harmonious hymnal any more than they would appear to agree with each other. Be honest, is there a civil war going on in your head? “Do I get up now and exercise”? “Sleep another 2o minutes”! “I should catch up on my paperwork and emails”. “Did I call my mother back yesterday”. “Geez, what I would give to be taking time off from work right now”. “Perhaps tomorrow I will start that cleanse and drop the extra 12 pounds I gained the end of last year”.
Now I am not gonna call you schizophrenic, or claim that there may be some multiple personality disorder you are secretly dealing with, but I will ask you to consider, which voice is getting its way?
Here is a pretty significant insight: You can’t manifest what you want when you don’t even know what that is. When you don’t know what you want, what you desire, what you deserve, chaos reigns. Thoughts can run rampant in this stew of undigested ideas, “shoulds” and random meanderings. Another tremendous insight for you: You can’t get clear on what you want until you know what you deserve. How true is that?!
Self talk, when intentionally directed is a miracle shifter, pure and simple! Try it! Allow yourself to wake up in your body and immediately choose to go into gratitude. Be grateful for the comforter that kept you warm, your significant other laying next to you, alive and well, the quality of the shades that kept the light out so successfully, and yes, speak words of gratitude to your body! Feel the words sink in, and notice how your body, mind and moods follow your lead. By the time you hit the bathroom mirror, you might even be convinced that you look better, younger, healthier somehow! Perhaps a bit of magic took place overnight, the sleep was more restful or those vitamins are finally beginning to yield some results.
We have been told for years that a “placebo effect” demonstrates the subjects belief that the experimental catalyst is real and therefore effective. New science is regularly demonstrating how much our beliefs manifest in our reality through our health, financial affairs, relationships, everything. Would it be such a strain to start talking sweet to yourself as you rise to greet a new day?
How does your mood change when you choose to smile and redirect your focus to what is working in your life? Maybe you feel more energetic or your jonesing for comfort food just isn’t pressing right now. Perhaps you find yourself being the brightest smile at the Wal-Mart, cheering up strangers with unfettered zeal!
Shifting your self-talk is shifting your consciousness. One small, deliberate, intentional, approving thought sent to your entire being is the start. How will you choose to start your tomorrow?