Where do you solicit your coupling, companioning, courting advice from? Are you a big online reader, picking up random tidbits here and there? Sort of pseudo Dr. Seuss’ing your way across the sea of internet articles, knocked loose from all natural preconceived notions about intimate human interaction? “Would you do it in a box…. would you do it with a fox….”?
Have you run through the rampant list of authors from Sherry Argov and “Why Men Marry Bitches” to Tucker Max and “I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell”?….. with a twist of Michael Fiore and “Digital Romance” radio in between?
Let’s be honest…. from the locker room to the pulpit we are all relentlessly peppered with counsel and commandment, irreverent and snarky or otherwise about how we are meant to behave with a potential partner.
So let’s just jump ahead a bit shall we? Let’s collectively decide to move past the oh so very “wonderful world of dating” and straight into intimate commitment…. whatever that looks like for you when it strikes your core!
There is SO much to be understood in maintaining the relationship and keeping it fed, thriving and alive!
In my practice I see many a single soul as well as eager couples trying to figure out if the connection was EVER truly there, how to get it back and where to go from there to NEVER loose it again.
Now really, this isn’t exclusive wisdom my friends….. it’s not even too far fetched in the evolutionary edge of relationship advice.
But it is OH SO VERY INTEGRAL TO ANSWERING THE QUESTIONS WE ALL SEEK!
Coupling that is meant to be lasting must first be “Conscious”. Knowing one’s partners “love language” as defined by Gary Chapman, investing in a weekend retreat uncovering your beloved’s “Imago” are both ways fully available to modern day couples seeking deeply meaningful union.
In my practice I define 5 Tiers to “Conscious Coupling” that give context to and richer texturing in the envisioning of ideal steps to take to achieve desired union.
The 5 Tiers of “Conscious Coupling” can be found here and on the free tools links which are as follows:
HONESTY ~ TRANSPARENCY ~ VULNERABILITY ~ PERMEABILITY ~ TRANSCENDENCY
1. Honesty is the first tier of being a conscious member of a couple as one must first be honest with oneself. How can we build a pillar of honesty and integrity in a relationship when we are deluding ourselves? Within that honesty we can glean clarity about who we are, what it is that we truly want for ourselves in our lives and how another individual can compliment that life and the dreams that we seek in our present and future.
2. Transparency is the act of being “seen” in a relationship sufficient that we can be deeply understood. Intimacy has been recently broken down by experts as “into-me-see”. This is only possible if we are able to reveal the essence of ourselves confidently to our intimate partner without any veils of illusion. We must be true and available to remain unmasked and open to the same level of transparency in our partners.
3. Vulnerability is an automatic byproduct of the second tier of Conscious Coupling. When we have allowed with genuine honesty to make ourselves transparent to our partners, being that they have demonstrated sufficient sensitivity and trust to earn this level of raw nakedness from us, we are automatically vulnerable and thereby accessible to a true union.
4. Permeability is the melding of thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions, intentions, literally the full range of our personal energy with our partner. The goal of permeability is to be made “more” in our wholeness with our partner than we could possibly be alone. Quantum physics has demonstrated that the cumulative energy of committed couples exponentially increases intended effects in any given goal or endeavor.
5. Transcendency is the ultimate goal of conscious coupling. The Divine is magnified and mirrored in ourselves and in our beloved, returning us to an awakened state of macrocosm, endless connectedness and a transcendent state of personal purpose. We are literally able to reclaim an exalted state of connection with our true state of being, which is sublime connection to the whole of the Universe and every soul in existence.
“Our love for each other up-framed everything, transforming the dust, the dirt, the madness of the world into inspired delight. That’s the thing about great love… It elevates everything around it. You walk through a forest together and it becomes a great temple. You eat a meal together and you sit at God’s banquet table. You merge your bodies and all heaven breaks loose. That’s why we can’t stop singing about love… every verse is an invitation to wholeness.” Jeff Brown
Isn’t your invaluable investment of time in an intimate partner, perhaps even a “soul mate” worth allowing yourself this? A deep, enriching, expansive and yes, even transcendent connection with your love?